I'll be gone soon enough!
by TeamJanny
Summary: When Mo forces Jac to tell Jonny, Jonny has to decide whether he can be there for her. But can he put the past behind them? And what will Jac do when she realises that he baby is going to need her undivided attention? Jac-Mo and Jac-Jonny Please review!
1. Chapter 1

**Jac being pregnant really got me thinking about her relationship with Jonny and his reaction to her being 'late' last year... I might make this a two shot if people want me to so please review! x**

* * *

This is it

"Jac, either you tell Jonny or I will!" Mo shouted as we argued in the locker room.

"I can't!"

"Jac, you're already showing, look at you. You're five months gone already, you can't hide it for much longer, people have already begun gossiping!" Mo said harshly, staring at my rounded belly.

"He won't want anything to do with it, this is probably my only chance to be a mother, I can't lose my little girl!" I replied, my words dripping with emotion. "I'll be gone soon enough."

"You think he'll make you get rid of it? Jac, you and me both know that he would never do that! Talk to him, tell him the truth, he'll understand I promise! He won't walk out on you either, he's not that kinda guy! You can't leave without giving him a chance." Mo told me, placing her hand on my arm.

"I'm scared." I said quietly, letting a single tear slide down my cheek.

"I know. Just don't do this on your own." She told me before wrapping her arms around me briefly and then leaving me to get changed in peace.

I pull my top over my head and look at my rounded stomach in the mirror, my hand resting on top, protecting my daughter. I sighed deeply, it's obvious that I have to tell Jonny but how, what do I say, how much do I tell him.

No matter how much I hated to say it, Mo was right, telling him everything is the only option.

* * *

On the ward...

"Jonny, a word." I said nervously to the nurse whose stood next to me At the nurses station. "In my office."

"Course." He replied coldly, following me into my shared office with Elliott.

"I think it's best if you sit down." And he does, he sits down on the sofa near my desk and watches me as I pace around the room, searching for the right words to say.

"Are you alright?" He asks nervously, the harshness gone from his voice. "You can tell me." He whispers, trying his best to put me at ease.

"Jonny, I think it's best if I start from the beginning." I said, sitting down beside him. "I don't know if you remember but several months ago I told you I was suffering from bad period pains?"

"I remember."

"I lied, I didn't know what it was, I ran some tests to check whether it was my kidney and they came back negative so I did an ultrasound."

"Yourself?" He asks me, slightly shocked that I'd hidden it so well.

"Yes, I gave the scan to Serena and she told me to take it to gaenacology and they sent me for an endoscopy, that's where I was when I had 'food poisoning'. I was told that I had endometriosis and that I probably wouldn't be able to conceive." I explained, hanging my head in shame. "I'm so sorry for hitting you, as soon as I did it, I wished that I could take it back. What you said, it really hurt me. Any other day and I would have brushed it off, I would have thrown something twice as nasty back at you but on that day I thought that I was going to lose everything in my life that was important to me. Yet I still did. I thought that if I couldn't have children then you'd have walked away, found someone who could. So instead, I pushed you away and I'm sorry." I explain, not realising how much I was crying until I begin to wipe the tears away. "On the night Tara died, you took me in when I needed you and we slept together. And I stupidly thought that there would be no chance that I'd get pregnant so I didn't bother with the morning after pill but I found out 4 months ago that I was very very wrong."

"Are you telling me that you're pregnant? With my baby?" I nodded in reply, not trusting myself to speak. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asks me softly.

"I was too scared." I whispered, my voice broken and shaky. "I don't expect you to be involved but I want you to know that I'm keeping it . This is probably going to be my only chance to be a mother and I don't want to destroy that. If you walk away now I'll understand, there's not much keeping you here. The bitch and her devil daughter, not exactly anything worth staying for. I just want you to know that I'm sorry, for everything. Everything that I did, everything that went wrong. I know it was fault and I will have to live with that for the rest of my life. My dad wasn't around, my mum drove him away and then she ran away herself. It's not a particularly nice feeling to know that you're an unwanted child so if you decide that you don't want to be involved, I think you should know now that I've told Hanssen that I've handed in my resignation. There's never been anyone or anything that I'd give everything up for. I'd give up my life, my career, my whole identity for her and I'm bloody terrified about that but I wouldn't want anything less for our little girl. A fresh start. I hate to pressure you but I need to know what you want."

"I'm sorry, I can't." He said quietly, staring at the floor. "I can't do it!"

I try not to sob as he tells me this but I can't. I did know deep down that he'd reject me but I didn't want to face it.

"That's fine, I understand. I'll be gone as soon as I possibly can. I've found somewhere up north and I've got a job offer so it shouldn't take too long. I'll email you when she's born if you like, send you some pictures." I sobbed. "Goodbye Jonny." I whisper gently.

And then I left.

I didn't do big farewells or tearful goodbyes so in the passenger seat of Sacha 's car, i decide that a letter to those I knew well and an email to the rest would suffice...

* * *

Dear colleagues/friends,

I know that this is a surprise, but I'm leaving. I've been here for more than eight years and its going to be hard saying goodbye. I've made a lot of friends and probably just as many enemies and I've met some amazing people. I'll miss you all in some way or another and I guess I just wanted to say thank you and goodbye. I'm going to be starting my new life away and I'm going to have an addition to my family by Christmas! Thank you everyone for everything really.  
Jac Naylor

* * *

Dear Michael,  
You probably didn't expect to hear about my departure so suddenly and I'm sorry that I can't do this in person but you know how difficult I find goodbyes. By the time you're reading this you will probably know that I'm having a baby and for the first time in my life, I may not have everything that I want, but I have everything I need. There's a job opening for a joint clinical lead and I've been offered the job. The two of us will be very happy there together. Thank you for everything that you've done for me Michael, you are when of the people I'm really going to miss. Take care of yourself Michael.  
Jac

* * *

Dear Elliott,  
Thank you for everything. You've been like the father I never had and I don't know where I'd be without your guidance. I'm really sorry for all the terrible things I've done, I've screwed you over so many times and I hate myself for it. I apologise for all the secrecy, but I'm starting afresh. I've got a new name, a new baby and a new job and I can't let the past pull me back. It doesn't matter where I'm going, I just want you to know that I'm happy, I'm really happy and that I'm going to miss you so much. I wish that I could've stayed but its too difficult, too much has happened. Take care of yourself Elliott.  
Jac

* * *

Dear Mo,  
Thank you for your support over the last few months, I probably wouldn't have been able to keep it a secret without your help. I didn't think I'd ever be saying this but if things had been different and I had stayed then I think we would have been good friends. When I told Hansen that I was leaving, I recommended you for my post and I think that with a bit more practise then you could be the new me. Good luck , I know that you can do this!  
Jac

* * *

I didn't have everything, I never would have. But I finally have a family, a family of my own. No matter how small. It's just me and my baby now and its time to put us first...

* * *

**Thanks for reading, please review! x**


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you for your reviews on the last chapter, I've decided to make this a 3/4 parter! this chapter is dedicated to my best friend Jess, who I hope isn't reading this! Thanks for reading, please review! Oh and of anyone's heard the spoilers that Janny get married, please tell me whether they're true or not! x

* * *

Chapter 2: The whole shebang!

3 and a half months later and Jac was ready to pop. She'd begun her new life up in Glasgow and had already begun to make friends-and enemies!

It was two days before Christmas and Sacha had moved into Jac's temporarily the week before so that she wouldn't be alone when she dropped. Although Jac was pleased to have him around, she was still finding it difficult to deal with living without Jonny. Despite the fact that Sacha constantly reminded her that he'd be there every step of the way, Jac knew that essentially, she was alone.

Jac hadn't stuck her plan of cutting all ties with the 'Holby lot' and had been constantly texting Mo over the last few months. Hansen was right when he'd told her that disappearing wasn't easy and keeping in touch with friends like Mo and Elliott made it easier for her to move on from Jonny. And today was one of those difficult days when she realised how much she relied on the support of her friends.

On this particular day, Jac had been told by Sacha to stay out of the house all day because he wanted to surprise her when he unveiled the nursery. Sacha had wallpapered the walls (pink with white clouds), he'd assembled the white, matching cot, rocking chair, cupboard, chest of draws and changing table and had begun to add finishing touches like adding teddies to the cot when Jac came home.

"Look Sacha, this is a lovely idea and all but I'm nearly nine months pregnant, I'm tired, hormonal and my feet are killing me!" Jac called from the landing.

"It's ready! Give me two minutes and I shall reveal all!" He replied gleefully.

Jac waited for Sacha to come running downstairs before she let him help her make her way to the second floor, each step putting her feet through agony.

"I give you, Jac junior's nursery!" Sacha said proudly, swinging the door open as he spoke.

Jac then burst into tears, hugging Sacha tightly. "Thank you so much Sacha, it's beautiful!" She cried.

"Hormones?" He asked quietly, feeling her nod into his chest. "Have you come up with any names for junior yet?"

"It's difficult, I wanted to call her Alex, but Alex Hill? It just doesn't sound right! When changing my name, why did I think that Jacqueline Hill was a good idea?" Jac moaned.

"I'm sure you'll know what to call her when the time comes." Jac nodded in reply.

"I'm going for a nap, you can go put the tv on if you want." Jac yawned, kissing Sacha's cheek before going into her bedroom.

* * *

Jac awoke with a start, an unfamiliar pain in her lower abdomen caused her to cry out. Jac hugged her bump protectively as she waited for the pain to pass.

Downstairs, Sacha heard Jac's yelp and had rushed up to help.

"Jac!" he shouted as he walked through the doors. "What's happened?"

"It's nothing!" She replied, trying to remain calm.

But before Sacha could reply, a big wet patch appeared on Jac's duvet and another wave of pain caught her off guard, causing her to scream.

"Sacha! I need to get to hospital!" Jac shouted. Sacha rushed to her bedside, helping her out of bed. Sacha touched the wet patch and realised that it hadn't been the result of her waters breaking, it was a large patch of blood. Upon realising what Sacha had discovered, Jac hugged his neck tightly, using him to support her.

"It's going to be fine! I'm going to call you an ambulance. Just sit back down for me."

Sacha rushed off to make the call and when he returned, Jac was lying on her bed unconscious. More blood staining her lightly coloured trousers.

"Jac? Jac?" Sacha tried to get her to regain consciousness but was unsuccessful.

When the ambulance arrived, the paramedics took Jac into the ambulance, her body on a stretcher. Sacha followed, holding Jac's hand as she was driven away.

"Are you the father?" Asked the paramedic.

"No, I'm her best friend, I'm a doctor. GS consultant." Sacha explained.  
"Would you be able to contact the father when we get to the hospital, I think there could be something seriously wrong. Do you know her medical history?" Asked the paramedic who was checking Jac's BP.  
"Yes, she has endometriosis, she donated a kidney a few years ago and she had a bike crash a few years ago and she had to have surgery to repair a tear on the side of her lung!" Sacha explained, trying to remember everything.

"Right, we're gonna need to get this baby out of her as soon as and I don't know if her obstetrician will agree with me but I'd be worried about performing a c-section if she has endometriosis." There was a sudden appearance of a wet patch on the blanket that was covering Jac's limp body. "Her waters have broken. She's in labour!"

* * *

"Hello." Said Jonny as he answered his phone to an unknown number.

"Jonny, it's Sacha. I don't have much time but I need to know where you are." Sacha said in a panicked voice.

"I'm in Glasgow, I'm staying with my parents for Christmas. Is everything okay?" He asked, unsure why Sacha was phoning him.

"Jac's seriously ill. She started bleeding and collapsed. We're hoping she's going to come round soon but she's not going to be able to do this alone. Jonny, I know it's not my place to say but this is your baby too, you need to man up! She could be dying and this child is going to need a father whether Jac's here or not!"

"Where are you?" Asked Jonny.

"Glasgow city general hospital! Jac moved her five months ago." Sacha replied quickly.

"I'm on my way."

"When you arrive ask for Jacqueline Hill, Jac changed her name!"  
"Thank you Sacha!" Jonny said hanging up.

"Mr Levy, she's waking up." Called a nurse.

Sacha rushed into the room where he saw Jac lying on the bed, her eyes were flickering open.

"Jac, I need you to wake up for me. You're in labour and we need to get the baby out as soon as possible. They're about to take you down to maternity, is that alright?"

"Is she going to be alright?" Jac asked, a contraction taking hold of her.

"They'll do everything they can to make sure that she's okay." Sacha replied cautiously.

Before Jac could reply, the midwife arrived and took her down to maternity, putting her in the private room.

"Right, Jacqueline Hill is it?" The midwife asked.

"It's Jac! Jac Naylor, not Hill!" She corrected her .

"Okay then Jac, I'm going to give you a quick once over and we'll proceed from there. Is he going to be your birthing partner?" She enquired cluelessly.

"No, Sacha's leaving now! I'm doing this on my own."

"But-"

"Get out Levy!" She warned.

"Good luck!" Sacha mumbled to the midwife before leaving to wait in the relatives room.

After checking Jac over, the midwife came to the conclusion that Jac was already six centimetres dilated.

Jac waited and waited, being checked over by the midwife every hour, the contractions becoming more frequent and painful as time progressed.

After waiting for what felt like eternity, there was a knock at the door and in walked Sacha.

"I know that you don't want me here, but Jonny's here. Him and Mo are waiting outside and they're both freaking!" Sacha explained.

"You called them? How could you do this to me Sacha? You were supposed to be my friend!" Jac screamed, holding her stomach in pain.  
"I'm so sorry, I just can't bare to watch you do this alone any longer! If you won't let Jonny in here, the at least let Mo."  
"Fine!" Jac said, finding it too stressful to argue.  
A few minutes later and mo entered the room. She was wearing a long purple dress and it was obvious that rshe'd just been at a party.

"Jac!" Mo whispered as she pulled her into a lose hug. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm trying to get a fucking elephant outta me! How d'you think I'm feeling?" Jac screamed. "I don't think I can do this Mo!"

"Hey, you can! Remember me, remember when I was in labour? I got through it though, without your help, I probably wouldn't have done if I'm honest!" Mo said, holding Jac's hand affectionately.

* * *

"Where's the midwife? I've been in labour for hours!" Jac cried.

Mo rushed off and returned with the midwife in tow.

"Right, lets get you checked over. Would you like an eppidurel or gas and air or some pain relief?" Asked the midwife.

"I don't want anything. This is my only chance to have a baby! I'm not missing a thing!" Jac screamed as she gripped onto Mo's hand, making the other woman yelp in pain.

"Jac, you're crazy!" Mo replied as she stroked Jac's hand.

"Maybe, but I don't want anything!" Jac replied stubbornly.

* * *

"I can't do this!" Jac shouted through tears whilst crushing Mo's hand.

"Yes you can!" Mo replied comfortingly.

"I-I want Jonny!" She cried, shocking mo at her request.

"Are you sure?" Jac nodded and Mo kissed Jac's head before rushing off to find Jonny.

"Jac?" Jonny said softly, walking through the door.

"Jonny?" She whispered, tears cascading freely down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry!"

"Hey, why are you sorry? I should be the one apologising." He said,stroking her hair with one hand and holding hers with the other. "I've missed you!" He told her, making her turn to look at him in shock. "Don't look so shocked! What do you think I'd have done? Been glad to finally have rid of you?"

"I didn't know what to think! When I left, I desperately tried to convince myself that I didn't love you but I couldn't! I loved you so much, more than anyone or anything and I still do!" She said as she got of bed in order to talk to him properly.

"But I thought you didn't..." He trailed off, trying to fight back the tears.  
"You what? Thought that I didn't love you? Of course I do! I have never loved anyone like I love you!"

"I..." Jonny tried to say.

"You what, you feel the same way do you? You love me just as much as I do you? You want a future with me and our baby do you? Jac replied bitterly, remembering the last time they'd spoken to one another.

"Yes, I do feel the same way, Ido love just as much if not more than you love me and I do want a future with you and our baby! Of course I do!" Jonny told her gently, stroking her hair as she sobbed into his chest.

"How's mum doing?" asked the midwife as she came through the door. "It's natural to get emotional dear." She added as she saw Jac hide her head away.

"She's doing fine." Replied Jonny so that Jac didn't have to.

"Right, let me just check you over." Said the midwife who went over and did so despite Jac not answering. "Jac."

"Please giver some good news! I just wanna get her outta me!" Jac cried, putting her weight on a nearby chair.

"You're ten centimetres, Jac. You two are about to become parents." Said the midwife, smiling at the pair. "I'll be back in a moment."

"Jac, I know I haven't been here for you but I am now, if you'll let me be! We can do this together." Jonny told her.

"Promise me you won't leave me again!" She pleaded.

"I promise." He told her, kissing her lightly.

The midwife returned again, this time with a nurse alongside.

"Right, what position would you like to be in mum?" She asked as Jac paced the room.

"On my back." Jac replied instantly, allowing Jonny and the midwife lay her onto the bed.

* * *

"Jonny I can't do this!" She panted whilst crushing every bone in his hand.

"Yes you can, you're nearly there!" He told her reassuringly.

"Okay Jac, on the next contraction, I want you to give me a really big push ." The midwife told her.

And she did so when the contraction came, screaming through the pain.  
"Right I can see the head, I want you to do the same on the next."  
"I can't, I can't do this." Jac sobbed.

"Yes you can, right now push." Jac did as she was told.

"Come on, she's nearly there." Said Jonny encouragingly.

And then she was. The sound of screaming suddenly filled the room. A baby was being handed to the nurse who then wrapped her up into a blanket.

"You two have got yourselves a beautiful baby girl!" The midwife announced as the exhausted parents watched there child being weighed. "Whose she going to? Mum or dad?"

"Mum." Replied Jonny as he watched his daughter being brought over.  
Jac held out her arms as the tiny child was placed in them.

"She's amazing." Jac whispered as she rocked her daughter from side to side.

"Isn't she just!" Said Jonny in agreement.

"Do you want to hold her?" Enquired Jac as she looked up from her baby.  
Jonny nodded and took the child into his own embrace.

* * *

Half an hour later and the pair had been settled into a private room with their newly born daughter.

"Can we come in?" Asked Sacha popping his head round the door.  
"Yes!" Said Jonny excitedly.

Mo and Sacha came in nervously, grinning at the new family.

"May I?" Mo asked Jac who was holding her tiny daughter in her arms.

"Course, lets give you to your aunty Mo." Jac smiled, handing over the wriggling child.

"She's beautiful! I'm so glad you two were depressed and had sex!" Mo laughed as she rocked the child from side to side.

"Who'd you think she looks like?" Asked Sacha.

"She has Jac's hair." Jonny answered happily.

"Ah but she has your eyes!" Chipped in Jac.

"Does she have a name yet?" Asked Mo eagerly.

"No, I was stuck on calling her Alex for so long that I hadn't thought of anything else. Any suggestions?" Jac asked.

"Hannah?"

"No!"

"Chloe?"

"I think not!"

"Daisy?"

"My daughter is not a cow!"

"Lydia?"

"That's getting better."

"Jessica?"

""Jessica. Jess for short." Jac confirmed.

"What about Eve for her middle name? I love the name Eve!" Jonny suggested.

"Jessica Eve Hill." Jac replied.

"Hill?" Jonny argued but before he could continue, the midwife interrupted, kicking Sacha and Mo out.

"Jac, I'm not having a different last name to my daughter?" Jonny said as soon as they'd left.

"Neither am I! She's my daughter just as much as she is yours so I don't see why she should have your last name?" Jac replied.

"Marry me then." Jonny told her, making her look up in surprise. "3 and a half months apart is what I needed to show me that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you! I love you and our daughter more than anything in the world!"

"I love you too and I will marry you. But first, as soon as we can, I want to go home! I want to go back to Holby, to all our friends and I want to give you the whole shebang!"


End file.
